


Restart and Refresh (Edit)

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky and Tony are brothers, De-Aged Tony Stark, Everyone is younger, Gen, Kid Tony Stark, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Penny is his mother, Sometime after Age Of Ultron, They go by James and Thomas, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is Thomas, Unsure Timeline, Younger James Barnes, not wanda maximoff friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I just ask one thing,” FRIDAY says softly, the suit’s emotionless face staring at the two of them together. Penny nods, tucking her boy's face into her neck further as she presses a kiss to his curly hair, “Do not let him grow up too soon. Howard Stark was excellent at many things, but a father was not one of them. Let him be the child he always was inside. Show him that fun and work do not always have to mean the same things. Show him that a child deserves to be loved, not told to work at all possible hours of the day.”Penny lets the words sink in for a moment, heart breaking at what her boy had to go through the first time around.Not again.No, her baby will be raised properly this time, “I promise. No matter what happens, he will always be so happy with me.”“Thank you. What you are doing for Boss will always put you in my debt. If you need to contact me, do not hesitate. I will always be there to help you or Boss with anything,” A metal hand reaches out, petting the curly locks of the sleeping boy gently, far gentler than Iron Man is during a battle.





	1. Chapter 1

_ Chapter One _

_ “Thank you, Miss Washington. I know you will do well by him,” FRIDAY’s voice comes through the speakers unbelievably soft; after-all, they don’t want to wake the young boy in her arms. _

_ “Yes, I will. I promise you that you do not have to worry,” Penny’s voice is shaking, breathless as she shifts nervously from foot to foot. Her whole body is thrumming with nervous energy, mind reeling at the thought that this is really happening. No matter how many times her and FRIDAY had been over this, she can’t believe that she is actually going to get the chance to care for and love the boy as he should have been the first time around. _

_ FRIDAY is giving both of them second chances on this one. _

_ The Iron Man suit nods, “I know. From here on I will not be in contact unless either you contact first or in an emergency of some kind. Boss trusted you with this responsibility and I trust Boss. Money will be wired to you monthly and Boss personally installed security measures in all of the properties he chose. All that is left now is for you to choose a destination and get him settled.” _

_ Penny presses a hand over her chest, taking in a heavy breath. _

_ This is happening. After months and months of discussing, she is finally going to get her baby boy. She is going to raise him right and give him all of the love he has ever deserved. Get him away from such a horrible situation with horrible people who don’t care about him. _

_ The only things he’ll ever feel when with Penny are love and care. _

_ “I think I’d like to go with Hopkinton, FRIDAY. I just… I just think that’d be such as great place to raise him,” Penny says, staring at the small body still nestled in the suit’s arms. Her own arms ache to grab him from the machine, cuddle him and never let go. _

_ “Very well. Then everything is set,” Slowly, almost hesitantly, if AIs were capable of such a thing, the suit’s arms stretch out, reaching the toddler out to Penny. The entire time, the four-year-old doesn’t stir, exhaustion from the procedure and subsequent change still settling heavy over him. _

_ Never before has Penny moved so quickly; in barely the blink of an eye, Penny is only an inch away from the Iron Man suit, grabbing her son and pulling him close. Her heart actually aches as she feels him press further into her body, curling his tiny arms around her neck. The both of them breathe out a happy sigh at the same time. _

_ Holding him close just feels so right. _

_ “I just ask one thing,” FRIDAY says softly, the suit’s emotionless face staring at the two of them together. Penny nods, tucking her boy's face into her neck further as she presses a kiss to his curly hair, “Do not let him grow up too soon. Howard Stark was excellent at many things, but a father was not one of them. Let him be the child he always was inside. Show him that fun and work do not always have to mean the same things. Show him that a child deserves to be loved, not told to work at all possible hours of the day.” _

_ Penny lets the words sink in for a moment, heart breaking at what her boy had to go through the first time around. _

_ Not again. _

_ No, her baby will be raised properly this time, “I promise. No matter what happens, he will always be so happy with me.” _

_ “Thank you. What you are doing for Boss will always put you in my debt. If you need to contact me, do not hesitate. I will always be there to help you or Boss with anything,” A metal hand reaches out, petting the curly locks of the sleeping boy gently, far gentler than Iron Man is during a battle, “What will you call him? I assume Tony will not be an option.” _

_ Penny shakes her head hastily, “No, it’s not. This life has treated him so horribly, I do not want anything associated with it anymore. No… his name is Thomas. Thomas Washington.” _

_ “A strong name,” The suit steps back, twigs crunching under the heavy metal, “Goodbye, Miss Washington. Goodbye, Boss… Thomas.” _

_ “Goodbye FRIDAY.” _

  
  
  


The house is unbelievable. Very simple, yes, but still unbelievable.

Lovely green grass sits either side of a clean walk-way leading directly to the front door of the house. Plants, flowers and bushes alike, a couple of short trees, trace the house beautifully, making the house looks brighter, cleaner. The green of the front door stands out, but in a complimenting manner, not an ugly one; the white of the frame around the door blends perfectly with the gray of the rest of the house and matching barn. Two benches sit just below the first windows on both sides of the door, the same matching green wood. The left part of the house follows the same gray pattern as the front and second story, hidden partially behind some of the plants and flowers.

Penny pulls into the garage with a large grin on her face, the large wooden green doors closed behind her as she shuts the car off. She steps out of the dark red and matte black Fiat 500l, courtesy of FRIDAY. Not a car Penny would have generally chosen, but FRIDAY had assured her that the car wasn’t something that wouldn’t stand out any more than any other car.

She looks around the space, noting the recycling and garbage bins tucked next to a bright red wagon in the left corner, a couple of feet in front of the car, gardening tools hanging on the wall next to the large doors, the wheelbarrow and large bags of soil tucked on the right, and the empty crates spread out, a perfect spot for spare items she wouldn’t need at all times of the year. Looking out the window, she saw a small almost shack-like building connected to the main house by a lovely gray deck and leading to the barn/garage with stone steps. The small building might be a workshop, what with the clear, free space Penny can see through the window.

Just what Penny has seen of the property so far, this place is perfect.

Smiling, Penny steps up to the back door of the Fiat, opening the door as quietly as she can. Thomas is still sleeping deeply in his booster seat, snuggling into the light red blanket Penny had tucked around him that she plans to keep in the car for occasions Thomas just needs a nap. Penny reaches in, undoing the seat belts and lifting the four-year-old with the blanket into her arms, “Come on, Baby,” She whispers into his hair, “Let’s go check out your new room.”

When she steps onto the stone path leading to the deck, Penny sees that the back yard is actually fairly large with a small table and chairs tucked into the corner with a barbeque. There is enough space for Thomas to run around without every feeling too closed in. Another path leads from the patch of open grass into what looks like a garden, but Penny can go explore that later. But right now, she needs to get Thomas into bed; it’s already close to nine and her boy needs a good nights’ sleep.

“I think we’re really going to like it here,” Penny says, stepping through the back door. She steps into the kitchen/dining room, a large room with plenty of space, with lots of room on the walls for her to decorate as she so pleases. She skips checking it out, though, and heads through the hallways and up the stairs.

On the second floor she finds three rooms: a master bedroom with a huge bed, a walk-in closet, a dresser, a short table, and a plush, very comfortable-looking chair; a nursery with a crib, a rocking chair across from it, a dresser with a lamp and teddy bear on top, and multiple shelves with toys and baby/toddler books tucked in; and a room larger than the nursery, but smaller than the master bedroom with a tall, twin bed with thick sheets tucked next to the windows, a dresser a few feet away from the foot of the bed, a chair in the corner, and a bookshelf right by the door. She had seen a bathroom in between the master bedroom and the nursery, but she thinks that she can just give Thomas a bath in the morning.

Although none of the bedrooms are really appropriate yet for Thomas, what with the nursery’s crib being too small for the four-year-old and the other bedroom’s twin bed being too big for him, Penny decides that the twin bed is the safest bet for Thomas. The bed is, in reality, bigger than a twin, so there’s plenty of room on the bed to make sure that Thomas doesn’t accidentally roll himself off. In the morning she and Thomas could just drive down to the nearest supply store and find the appropriate materials for Thomas’s room.

“Alright, Baby,” Penny coos, untangling the red blanket from Thomas’ sleeping form and setting him on the bed. She realizes suddenly that she doesn’t have any spare clothes to put Thomas in, so she moves to check the dresser. Unfortunately, that’s empty; Penny’s not really surprised since FRIDAY didn’t really have time to order any type of supplies before everything was in motion, “That’s okay. You can just sleep in your trousers tonight. Tomorrow we’ll go shopping.”

Tucking Thomas in, Penny sits down on the edge of the bed and just stares at her son. FRIDAY had assured her that all of his memories from his life as Tony Stark were gone and that after maybe a week or so he’d feel comfortable calling Penny Mama, but she still felt nervous. At four years old, Thomas is developed plenty already and she worries that he maybe won’t believe that Penny is actually his mother.

She knows that her fears are probably ridiculous since FRIDAY gave her a backstory of Thomas hitting his head and losing his memories, but she can’t help it. She’s just so worried that she is going to lose Thomas. She can’t lose her son.

Not again.

This time around she vows that nothing is going to come between her and her child, not a person or another disease or anything.

Thomas is hers.

Penny runs her hand down the side of Thomas’ face, chuckling a bit when he presses his head further into her hand, “I love you, Baby. Goodnight.”

  
  
  


The master bedroom, as it turns out, is extremely comfortable and spacious. Penny wakes in the morning far more rested than she has in years.

After using the restroom and brushing her teeth, Penny makes her way to Thomas’ room, finding that he is still fast asleep. It’s seven now, so she decides it’s a good time to wake him up.

Getting into the same position she was in before retiring to her bed last night, Penny starts rubbing her hand up and down Thomas’ back, waking him up calmly and slowly. She’s not sure what his reaction will be to not knowing who Penny or even himself is; waking him up instead of him waking up on his own seems like the best bet.

“Thomas? It’s time to get up, Sweetheart,” Penny says sweetly, rubbing his back a bit faster as she sees that he’s starting to wake up.

Large brown eyes open gently, roving around a bit before landing on Penny. They study Penny a bit before they widen in fear and Thomas sits up, looking around the room. He looks at the room the same way he looked at Penny; with fear clear in his eyes, “Wh-who are you? Where am I?” He looks down at his own hands, studying them, “Who am I?” He asks in an even quieter voice than the first two questions. His voice is so small, so unsure for even a four year old.

“You’re Thomas, Baby. Don’t you remember?” Penny plays her part, following what FRIDAY had told her; make him believe that he is really yours and he will be with you forever. Don’t make him feel like anything is wrong, “You’re Thomas and I’m your Mama.”

“Mama?” Thomas breathes, looking like he’s testing the word as he looks at Penny, “You’re my mama?”

“That’s right. And you’re name?”

“T-Thomas?”

Penny nods enthusiastically, “That’s right, Baby. Do you remember anything that happened?”

Curls fly everywhere as Thomas shakes his head. His body is still very tense, but he’s not actively leaning away from Penny, instead sitting pressed against the headboard. His eyes are still looking around the room wildly, confusion on his face.

“That’s okay. The doctors said that you might not remember everything. You took a pretty nasty fall,” Penny reaches up to run her hands down her boy’s face, hesitating a bit when he tenses up again. A moment later though, Thomas scoots a tiny bit closer, letting her touch.

“Fall?

“Yeah. You fell off your bike a couple of weeks ago and hit your head really hard on a sharp rock. Do you feel any pain?” At Thomas’ head shake, Penny releases a relieved breath, smiling again at her baby boy, “Good. That’s good. Do you wanna check out the house? Maybe something will jog your memory?” She knows nothing will, that this house is foreign even to her, but she needs to keep playing her part.

She helps Thomas off of the bed after he nods, but she’s sure to keep a hand on his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t get spooked by anything and run off.

Together they walk through the house, inspecting the bathroom upstairs, the other to bedrooms so Thomas knows which one is his and which one is his mother’s, the office which they can definitely improve upon in future months; downstairs they find the living room, the plush couches looking so incredibly comfortable and Penny can already picture the two of them falling asleep together on one of them, the den with more space and more couches and chairs, a lovely fireplace, the kitchen and laundry room, the other bathroom. Neither of them goes into the basement; Thomas gets scared when he sees the dark staircase, so Penny decides that she’ll just take a look after Thomas is busy playing with the toys she plans on buying him or taking a nap or something.

They’re outside, walking down the path into what is actually a garden. Thomas has his little hand in hers, holding tight as he stares around at everything in amazement, a gleeful, if not hesitant, smile on his face.

Both of them settle on a bench across from the garden looking at the growing fruits, “Does any of this feel familiar to you?”

“Nuh-uh,” Thomas says, curling into Penny’s side more out of pure instinct, most likely, than trust, “But I like it. It’s big and cool.”

“Oh, yeah? I know we don’t really have much for you to play with at the moment, but we’ll go to the store soon, pick some stuff up.”

“Okay… Do I have a daddy?”

Penny shakes her head, “Nope. Just you and me, bud. But that’s okay. Once things get settled a bit more and you hopefully feel more comfortable, I’ll show you that we don’t need a daddy. We’re gonna do so well just the two of us. I promise.”

For a little while, the two of them sit out in the garden. Although it’s not really a beautiful day, with the dark rain clouds overhead and the chill in the air, it’s peaceful. There’s a quiet here that Penny never would have found at any of the other locations FRIDAY had offered, or even at her old home.

Things are quiet here. Quiet and perfect to raise her baby boy.

When it gets closer to 8:30, Penny pats Thomas’ shoulder lightly, startling the boy out of a light doze, “Come on, Thomas. Let’s go to the store. We’ll pick you up some new clothes and even some toys. How’s that sound?”

‘Okay, I guess,” Thomas shrugs, hopping off the bench and following after her.

Once both of their shoes are on and they’re set up in the car, Penny opens up her maps, checking around for the nearest store or shopping outlet. She finds a couple and pins them on her destination.

Everything is a bit of a drive from their new home, but not overly so; most of the ride is spent in silence as Thomas stares out the window at everything and Penny stares ahead at the road. A couple of times Penny asks some questions, but Thomas has yet to start a conversation on his own.

Finally, they reach the store and Penny helps Thomas out of his booster seat. She’d decided that clothes shopping would be best done first, so that’s where they head.

When she had gotten up this morning, she had checked her bank account and found a… huge sum of money there. Apparently FRIDAY hadn’t been lying when the AI said money would be transferred.

Penny’s never had so much money before.

“It’s getting pretty cold so why don’t we look at some jeans and sweaters first?” Penny suggests.

Thomas shrugs, walking on his own into the store. Penny had offered him her hand, but he hadn’t wanted to take it; Penny doesn’t blame him, she’s sure that everything is overwhelming the poor boy.

Finding clothes isn’t too big of an issue, but Penny has to work very hard to make sure that Thomas’ attention is never drawn to any of the Avengers merchandise. That’s the difficult part: there is an overwhelming amount of Avengers shirts. Thankfully, however, Thomas’ attention is drawn to different graphic tees that display neurons and the periodic table and anything science. One memorable shirt Thomas asked for is a shirt that has some weird chemistry pun on it. Even the sweaters Thomas wanted involved some type of scientific or engineering thing on it. Though she did make him grab some simpler sweaters with a couple of stripes and stars, stuff like that.

Throughout the whole thing, even while helping him try on the clothes, Thomas is quiet, standing still while she goes to grab a smaller size.

Penny can tell that he’s having a hard time processing everything and he’s still a bit hesitant to just accept that Penny is his mother.

But she doesn’t feel bad or anything; FRIDAY had assured her that it may take some time for everything to settle down.

“Do you remember a lot about science, Thomas?” She asks as she waits for him to pick out a few pairs of pants to try on.

Thomas nods, looking at a pair of black slacks that would go well with a white dress shirt he had grabbed, “Yeah. I’m sorry I don’t remember you, but I remember a lot about science and mechanics and stuff. I can read. I know that some of these materials will be better than others… I’m sorry I don’t know you.” By the end, his voice is soft again and he sounds so much older than the four years old he currently is.

Going against her earlier plan to wait everything out until Thomas is the first to move, Penny sets down the clothes in her hands and kneels down, pulling the small boy into her arms for a tight hug. Only for a moment does the boy tense before practically melting into her embrace and Penny can smack herself for being so stupid. Everything was obviously overwhelming the poor boy; every child needs comfort when everything starts to become too much.

Penny presses a kiss to his hair, pulling him in tighter when he curls his hands into his shirt, “I know things are probably scary right now and things don’t make a whole lot of sense, but you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault your brain decided to remember some things and not others. That’s all just a part of being human. In a week or so I promise that things will be easier for you.”

Seeming to believe her words, or just in need of comfort, Thomas wraps his little arms around Penny’s neck, burying his wet face under her chin as he starts to sob.

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay,” Penny comforts, letting the kid cry it out into her neck, “I’ll always be here for you. I promise you, Thomas, you can trust me. I’m your mother- I will do everything you need.”

Standing in the middle of the boy’s department of a clothing store is not the most ideal place for this, but Penny will not deny her son the privilege of her comfort. Things are new for her, too; she revels in the hug just as much as Thomas does.

Thomas squeezes her tightly, sobbing loudly into her neck. People stare at them, most concerned, some judgemental and annoyed, but Penny ignores them all. She presses a kiss to Thomas’s head again, “I love you, Baby.”

As expected, Thomas doesn’t say it back, still confused about everything, but Penny’s okay with it. They’ll get to that point eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

After his little breakdown, Thomas shyly told Penny that he was hungry, so she let him pick out a few more pairs of pants and some shoes, grabbed a couple of shirts, pants, and shoes for herself, and paid for their stuff. Before they leave, Penny takes Thomas to the restroom and has him change out of the clothes he was wearing already and helps him change into some blue jeans, a red long-sleeved T-shirt with little gears on it, some thick socks, and grey velcro sneakers. She changes into some simple clothes herself, jeans, a grey shirt, and some grey converse, feeling better now that she’s not in the same clothes she was wearing from yesterday morning.

Thomas uses the restroom and Penny helps him wash his hands, wiping his face down with a damp paper towel while they’re at it. His large brown eyes stare up at Penny, still shiny, but tears are no longer spilling over, “Feeling better, Baby?”

With a nod, Thomas very slowly, hesitantly reaches a little hand up to Penny, lower lip jut out in a small pout.

Heart swelling, Penny grabs his hand immediately, smiling brightly at how sweet and adorable her child is, “Come on. Let’s go get some food.”

She doesn’t want Thomas to get used to the idea of having junk food, Penny knows that getting something from the local burger joint before going grocery shopping is going to be better, otherwise, they’d be leaving the store with much more than they’d ever need.

With Thomas on her hip so that he could see the menu, Penny asks, “What do you want to try?”

Thomas takes a moment, looking at all of the options in the kid’s menu. Finally, he went with just a simple cheeseburger with ketchup and extra cheese. Penny orders a turkey burger with a large fry.

Once they’ve got their orders, Penny sits them in the corner of the restaurant, further away from everyone else. Even though it’s only about eleven in the morning, people are piling in still, some for late breakfasts, others for early lunches.

For a few minutes, Penny watches Thomas color on his little paper while munching happily on his burger. He’s humming a little tune to himself, the kind only a toddler would really understand, but he’s drawing what looks like a really complex robot cat, wiring and all. Chuckling, Penny digs into her own lunch, happy that Thomas finally looks at ease for a moment.

“How do you like it?” Penny asks when she’s all done with her food. Thomas is still working away at his burger, too interested in his drawing.

Thomas smiles up at her, ketchup all over his mouth, “It’s good. Can we have more?”

Penny chuckles, “Sorry, Baby. But you haven’t finished this one yet and we want to save room for dinner and dessert later,” She grabs a napkin, wiping Thomas’ mouth and cheeks. “What are you drawing over there? It looks awfully cool.”

Grinning proudly, Thomas holds up his paper for Penny to see, “It’s a kitty!” He beams excitedly and Penny’s heart soars at the happy little boy she’s been hoping all morning would come out, “I named her Kit.”

“Kit, huh? Well, that’s just an excellent name. Can Kit do any tricks?”

“Uh-huh. Lots. She can jump and roll over and meow and her eyes glow in the dark so that she can still see where she’s goin’ even when all the lights are off!” The boy lists happily, pointing at all of the different parts of the cat as he says it.

Penny smiles along with Thomas, matching his excitement with her own genuine interest, “My smart little boy. You want to build this when you’re a little bit older?”

“Yeah! It’s gonna look so cool. I’ll just have’ta make sure the wirin’ is right before doin’ anything.”

“Of course. You wouldn’t want something to mess up.”

“Nuh-uh. Bad.”

“Well, you’ve got a couple of years to make sure all of that is very accurate and you are very smart. I know you’ll be able to do it.”

Adorably, Thomas blushes a deep shade of red, looking down at the drawing again with a small smile, “Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Now, are you all done? ‘Cause I think now’s the perfect time to go shop for stuff for your room. What do you say?”

“Yeah!”

  
  
  


Although they end up having to stop at home first because nothing would ever fit in her little car with all of those bags of clothes in there already, the two of them end up having a really fun time picking out blankets and sheets and pillows and toys and lamps and rugs and more toys.

Little by little, as the day wears on, Thomas opens up to her more and more. Of course, things do overwhelm him, but he keeps his cool and politely lets Penny know if he doesn’t like something or doesn’t want to do something.

But Thomas seems to have a lot of fun picking out a matching blanket, sheets, and pillowcases set of the solar system, a round solar system rug with spaceships and meteors flying about. To match the bedspread, Penny found some nice curtains and a lamp to put on Thomas’s side table in the shape of a spaceship.

His solar system theme is actually quite surprising, considering how much he seems to love science and math, but then Penny asks him about space and he rambles on and on about how he’d love to one day visit Neptune.

Picking out items for her own room is much easier since she sticks with simple floral designs, but she lets Thomas help her anyway.

The hardest part, Penny finds, in fitting all of their stuff into her little car. Finally, she decides to move Thomas’s booster seat into the front so that she can stick most of the stuff on the floor and on the back seats, saving the little trunk space for their groceries after.

By the time they’ve finally finished, it’s well after three and Thomas is in need of a snack and a good nap, if the way he keeps yawning and closing his eyes is anything to go by.

“I’m just gonna lay you down for a little while, okay?” Penny says as she lifts Thomas out of the car.

Thomas shakes his head without his eyes ever opening, curling into Penny’s warmth, “Not tired. No nap.”

Penny laughs, unlocking the back door, “Of course not, Baby. But I just want you to lay down for a little bit while I put stuff away, okay. Just relax for a while.” Penny carries Thomas up the stairs into his room, laying him down on the bed. For now, he can still sleep with these blankets, but she fully plans to have the ones he picked out cleaned and dried by the time they go to bed tonight.

“Relax. No sleep,” Thomas agrees, but the moment his head touches the pillow, he rolls over to face the window and goes limp, fast asleep.

“I’ll be back in about an hour,” She whispers into his ear, taking off his shoes and tucking the blanket up over his shoulders.

The first thing Penny does when she’s brought everything inside is toss Thomas’ blankets and sheets into the wash. She can handle using the blanket already on her bed again tonight, but she wants Thomas to be more comfortable with the sheets he picked out.

Second is getting the groceries put away. She doesn’t need to start dinner yet, so she goes about putting her room together, putting down the carpet, hanging up her curtains. The carpet goes down right in front of the bedroom door, the red of the rose a lovely contrast to the white carpeting.

All of her room has a rose theme: the curtains match the carpet perfectly while the sheets and blankets will be a vibrant red against a black background. The darkness of the spread matches the dark wood of the furniture in the room and Penny finds that she actually really likes the way her room looks already.

Before, she’d have never been able to afford anything like this house. Now, she feels spoiled. But that’s okay: she’d give Thomas everything just to make him happy.

With Thomas’s blanket and sheets in the dryer and his first round of clothes in the wash, Penny starts making dinner. Some potato soup feels like a good meal, simple yet filling and delicious.

At the store, she’d picked up a set of pots and pans and some cooking knives and silverware.

Just after five, while the soup is on the stove and Thomas’s sheets are almost done, Penny wakes the boy up. He’s groggy and clearly doesn’t want to be up yet, but Penny knows that if he sleeps too much now, he won't be able to sleep tonight.

She had learned that the hard way with her first child.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” She tells him, ushering him into the bathroom, “You’ve gotta wash up.”

Thomas does his business and washes his hands thoroughly under Penny’s watchful eye.

As Penny plates up the food, Thomas sits at the table, watching her intently. When the bowl is set in front of him, Thomas looks down at the food in confusion, “What is it?” He asks quietly.

“Potato soup,” Penny says, starting to eat her own, “Go ahead and try it. You might like it.”

Turns out that Thomas actually really likes the food and even asks for seconds once he’s finished with the first bowl.

After dinner, Penny lets Thomas help set up his room, making the bed, rolling out the carpet, hanging the curtain, putting together his toy box, and putting the now dry clothes away into his dresser.

Bedtime at eight is rather easy, the day’s events having worn the boy out, “I had fun today,” He says sleepily as he snuggles into his new blankets. A little astronaut stuffie is tucked under his arm and he’s wearing little pajamas with the elements on it.

“That’s good to hear, Baby. I had fun today, too. I think tomorrow we’ll test out some of the toys you got. How does that sound?”

“Cool.”

"Goodnight, Thomas. Do you remember where my room is if you need anything?"

"Yup. The big one with the flowers."

"That's right. Goodnight," Penny leans over, smoothing Thomas's hair back in order to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight…" Thomas hesitates, staring up at Penny with his wide brown eyes. Hope blossoms in Penny's chest, a smile breaking out over her face. But, in the end, Thomas can't do it, can't say it.

Trying not to let the disappointment show on her face, Penny fixes Thomas's blanket one last time before shutting off his lights and walking into the hallway, leaving the door open a crack behind her.

Soon, she tells herself. Soon Thomas will know that everything is alright and that Penny is his mother. He just needs time.

Penny retires to her own room for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Do I go to school?" Thomas asks one day, two weeks after Penny got him and they moved into this house. The two of them are out in the garden, Thomas playing with some tricks in the grass, moving dirt from one spot to another, while Penny works in the garden. Whenever they're outside, Penny had made a rule that Thomas was to only play with his toys, not take them apart to improve them. It was a simple rule that Thomas had been surprisingly okay with following.

"Of course not, Baby. You're too young. And when you're old enough, I was thinking that I'd just homeschool you," Penny says, dusting her hands on her overalls as she kneels up, giving her complete undivided attention to Thomas. Something she knows his mother had never done the first time around.

"Why?" Thomas inquires, dumping the contents of the truck onto the grass.

"Well, you're a lot smarter than other kids and I know that the teachers would want to put you in the same class as kids your age. But I know that wouldn't be what you'd need. Being in a normal class is sure to bore you. You already know how to read and write and that's what other kids your age are still struggling on." Penny explains.

Thomas looks conflicted, "But wouldn't that make the other kids feel bad? Make them feel stupid?"

"Nope. There are plenty of kids who are homeschooled. All of them for very different reasons. No one needs to know why you don't go to school like all the other kids. Their feelings can't be hurt if they don't know what's going on."

"Oh," Thomas says, taking some time to think about it. Eventually, he looks back up at Penny, a very serious expression on his face, "Okay. For the other kids, I will be homeschooled."

Penny can't help but blurt out a laugh, completely amazed at her boy, "That's very kind of Thomas. I'm sure the other kids really appreciate that."

Thomas positively beams, seemingly very pleased with the news.

Penny waves him over, "Come on. You can help me with this next part."

  
  
  


"Tired, Thomas?" Penny questions quietly, looking down from the movie to the boy tucked next to her side on the couch.

Despite the fact that his eyes are half-closed, Thomas shakes his head, "No. Awake."

Penny snorts, "Oh, yeah. You definitely sound like you're awake," She stands, taking Thomas with her. The poor kid is so out of it that all he does is grumble some more before laying his head of Penny's shoulder, settling down in her arms.

Turning off the TV, Penny walks them up to Thomas's room, getting him changed quickly into some pajamas with little screwdrivers and wrenches all over them. Since they moved in, Penny has made a couple of changes to Thomas's room. Like the chair in the corner, for instance, is gone and in its place is a large bookcase with books on chemistry and engineering and trigonometry and car mechanics and electrical wiring. Do many things that most people don't start to learn until well into their teenage years, at least. Also in the room is now a short, but fairly large desk, pressed right next to the door. Scattered on top are a bunch of math and science worksheets, some books that aren't all about mechanics or anything like that, a couple of notebooks full of both illustrations of future inventions of Thomas's and other works more age-appropriate depicting flowers and stick figures and rainbows.

Somehow, the boy is a perfect mix between the genius he so obviously is and the four-year-old boy who just wants to have fun and not worry about anything ever again. Which is why Penny got him all of the books in the first place; knowledge is Thomas's happy place and Penny will not deny her child the chance to be happy by forcing little kid stuff on him. If he wants toys, she'll happily get them, but she won't demand that he play with them.

With a little sweep, Penny deposits Thomas gently onto his bed, earning a very sleepy chuckle out of the boy. After a couple of days, Penny had bought a little wooden side rail for Thomas's bed, to protect the child from falling off in the middle of the night. There's a little opening about two feet long from the foot of the bed, letting Thomas get in and out freely when awake, but it's nearly impossible for him to fall off while asleep.

"Alright, Bug. Time for you to go to sleep " Penny pulls the covers up around his shoulders, pressing them just beneath his chin.

As always, Thomas shakes his head, "Not sleepy," while rolling g over the face the window, a little comfort Penny has noticed he takes.

"I think you are. Just close those beautiful eyes for me, okay?" Penny runs her hand through his brown locks, relaxing the boy further.

Penny only runs for a few seconds before she feels Thomas go limp.

"Goodnight, Thomas," She kisses into his hair.

Penny is at the door when she hears it.

"Night night, Mama."

Penny doesn't think she's ever cried out of pure joy until now.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Penny Washington has first met Tony Stark after Afghanistan. Her husband had been one of the soldiers to be killed during the ambush and Penny had wanted to speak to Tony directly, to let him know that no matter what, she did not blame him for her husband's death.

What she had found after she'd been allowed into his office to see him was a guilt-stricken, broken man who needed nothing more in that moment than his mother to assure him that everything would be alright. He had hidden it well behind masks hed spent years perfecting, but Penny was a mother: she knew what a scared little boy looked like.

Of course, Tony Stark wasn't a little boy and was, in fact, a thirty-something-year-old man, but all Penny could see was a hurt, frightened little boy in need of a motherly hug.

So Penny had given him one.

He'd gone stiff of course, had panicked at the fact that a stranger was holding him, but it hadn't actually taken him long to sink into her warm embrace, to accept the comfort Penny had offered.

At the time, Penny had been a couple of years younger than Tony, but she hadn't cared, and Tony himself didn't seem to mind so much either. In fact, after they had finally broken away from each other and gotten to talking, Penny learned that the one thing Tony Stark had never once in his life gotten was the love, attention, and care of his mother.

To this day Penny doesn't know how she, a stranger, had gotten Tony Stark to open up so boldly, but she'll always be glad he shared with her his pain.

In the matter of only a couple of hours, she was convinced that Tony Stark was nothing more than a little boy trapped in a man’s body, forced to do anything and everything for everyone. He was a boy who had to grow up too fast in a world that was set on tearing him down over every little thing.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” She had told him, staring at his large brown eyes with complete honesty, “If you are hurting, you don’t need to hide it behind beer or one-night-stands. If all you really need is an ear to listen to all of your problems and someone to just hold you tight, then I’ll be there for you. You don’t have to be Tony Stark with me.”

He had looked at Penny, so shocked and so confused and so, so lost, and asked, “If I’m not Tony Stark, then who would I be. I’ve never known anyone else.”

“Just Tony is fine. Tony Stark has to bear the weight of the world, but Tony can just let himself go in the arms of a friend.”

From that moment on, Penny had been Tony’s confidant. On the days the guilt got to be too much for him, Tony would call her up and she’d just let him ramble on and on for hours on end. When the pain of being alone in his big mansion made him feel trapped, Penny would invite him over to spend the weekend with her and her son, Billy.

Billy and Tony got on amazingly well as both of them were suffering. Billy was suffering the loss of his father and the pain of being sick so often, and Tony was suffering the betrayal of the man he always thought of as a father figure and the pain of having been an orphan since he was seventeen years old. The both of them only ever wanted one thing: the love of their mother.

If whenever Tony came over and Billy was too sick to leave his room, Tony would spend nearly all day in there with him, reading with him or cuddling up on the bed with him to watch a movie or play a game.

The day Tony had come over and Billy hadn’t been there, would never be there with them again, Penny and he had held each other as they cried, releasing years and years worth of pain and loss. Tony had pulled her close, whispered into her ear, “I’m so sorry, Penny. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose a son.”

Penny had sat back, met Tony’s eyes and cried, “No, because you know what it’s like to lose your brother.”

The two of them had cried together for what had felt like years, from the moment Tony had stepped foot into the too quiet apartment, all the way through the service, and even years later, on every missed birthday and holiday and every anniversary.

Even after Tony had the Avengers, Penny was still there, still taking care of her boy.

For a while, Tony did have other people, people he could trust. The Avengers had been almost like a family to him, people he could turn to when Penny wasn’t around.

Then Ultron happened.

Tony’s family turned on him, blamed him for everything when in fact it had been that little witch who had forced Tony’s traumatized mind into creating the robot.

That’s when everything came to a head. The team was divided- they didn’t trust Tony anymore and didn’t make him feel like he belonged with them anymore. At every little thing he did, everything he built, they looked at him with suspicion. They accused him of trying to create another murder bot that’d kill hundreds. The Avengers kicked Tony out, accepted that witch Wanda instead.

And Tony couldn’t take it anymore.

All of his life, Tony had only ever known exactly one thing to be true: people will always leave him. It didn’t matter how hard he tried or what he did, everyone left.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Tony had sobbed into the phone at her one night after a particularly bad fight where the Avengers had blamed him for the death of a young girl. He’d been crying, sobbing into the phone as everything shattered around him, “I can’t Penny- They- It wasn’t-  _ I can’t do this anymore.” _

And Penny had panicked, unsure if Tony had planned to harm himself or the Avengers that day with how much pain laced his voice.

She’d rushed over, found Tony curled into a ball in the corner of his destroyed labs, fists bleeding and bruised.

That was the night FRIDAY had alerted the two of them to her plan. Since her birth during the whole Ultron ordeal, she had been devising safe ways to get her creator away from the Avengers without causing a worldwide panic. And finally, she’d found one. The only one that would guarantee that Tony be treated to only the very best.

It hadn’t taken much convincing on either Penny’s or Tony’s parts to agree.

Tony wanted to escape everything, wanted to for once be happy with someone who genuinely cared about him.

Penny wanted to get the chance to care for and love Tony the way he so desperately needed and wanted. She wanted to be the true mother to him that she admittedly always felt that she was.

Only six months after FRIDAY had announced her plan had things been put into motion.

They did the procedure in one of Tony’s properties in the middle of a forest, far away from any prying eyes, nosing Avengers, or annoying paparazzi.

Officially, to the eyes of the public and to the Avengers, Tony Stark is missing, presumably kidnapped from his tower in the middle of the night.

Really, Tony Stark is asleep in his bed at home, cuddling with his little astronaut stuffie. He’s four years old, living a happy life under the belief that Penny is his birth mother and he lost his memory in a biking accident.

Although the world may still be looking for Tony Stark, Penny knows they won’t find him. To her, Tony Stark is dead and he has only ever been Thomas, her baby boy.

Thomas will never have to suffer through the life that Tony Stark had. He won’t have to grow up too fast with a father that wanted an heir and a mother that didn’t care. He won’t have to build for the profit of his father’s company, his legacy. He won’t have to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders alone.

Thomas isn’t Tony Stark.

Tony Stark is dead.

Thomas Washington is four years old, son of Penny Washington.

Thomas Washington is happy, healthy, and free.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter FIve

“Why do kids think Santa exist?” Thomas asks her, holding the string of lights up for Penny to wrap around their tree.

Today’s Thanksgiving and ever since Penny was a little girl, the Christmas tree and the lights go up on Thanksgiving.

Too small to help with actually setting the tree up, Penny had enlisted Thomas's help with deciding what type of theme to have. Unsurprisingly, Thomas had gone with a galaxy themed tree. Penny had found a nice dark green artificial tree, black and dark purple ornaments, light strands that varied color the further down it went, starting with black lights at the top, purple in the middle, and dark blue on the bottom, and a tree skirt with stars and galaxies all over. For most of the ornaments, however, Penny had actually helped Thomas make. Now they had a wide variety of little galaxy ornaments, planet ornaments, asteroid elements.

Christmas for Penny before had always meant picking the brightest colors possible, but even she has to admit that the tree looks pretty darn amazing.

"What makes you think Santa doesn't exist?" Penny asks, but she's sure she already knows his answer.

"I looked at the facts," Thomas says matter of factly, tucking the ends of the lights into the bottom branches, "Everything has a scientific explanation except Santa. The only way to explain Santa is through magic and magic doesn't exist. So neither does Santa."

The explanation is such a Thomas answer that Penny can't even think of a reply. She just stands there, adding the ornaments Thomas hands her. Finally, she says, "You are too smart for your age."

Thomas looks up at her, "So it's true then? Santa isn't real?"

"No," Penny sighs, "Santa isn't real. But don't go spoiling that for anyone else, got it?"

"Got it."

Penny ruffles his already messy curly hair, earning half-hearted swats for her efforts.

“What do you want for Christmas, Mama?” Thomas asks her a little while later. Penny is at the stove, cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and Thomas is at the table across the island, far out of harm's way.

Waving her hand, Penny says, “Oh, I don’t need anything. I’ve got you and that’s what matters.”

Thomas furrows his brows, “You don’t want any toys? Or anything?”

Hearing the confusion and slight disappointment in her son’s voice, Penny lowers the temperature on the burners before making her way over to Thomas. He looks at her with wet eyes, looking put-down. Penny grabs his hands, kissing them before looking at him with a smile, “If you want to get me something, Thomas, then I guarantee I am going to love it. No matter what it is. Anything that comes from you is special but I don’t  _ need  _ anything more to make me happy.”

Even though Thomas doesn’t say anything back, he does smile at her again, face lighting up in delight.

Penny pats his shoulder, ushering him off of the chair and into the kitchen. She lifts him onto the counter, helps him wash his hands, “You get to help me mash the potatoes.”

  
  
  


Thanksgiving dinner was something Penny had found to be extremely special. Having Thomas there, helping her make some of the dinner- it just felt so  _ right. _

After dinner, Penny had carefully let Thomas help cut the apple pie, holding the knife steady and straight in his tiny hands. The way Thomas had looked at her, almost like she had personally hung the moon, was something else. While she feels so much love for her boy, it’s little moments like that, where the simple little actions mean so much more than she would have thought, Penny feels so unbelievably loved.

From Thanksgiving, Thomas had finally come completely out of the nervous, shy little shell he was in. Where before Penny had thought Thomas had already come out, she was proved wrong when Thomas started to act more and more like his own little person.

He is an energetic little thing. Now that he is sure that he is safe and is with the woman he does know is his mother, he has shown that he has more energy than an entire kindergarten class. When Penny lets him outside to play with she works in the garden, he takes out some bouncy balls instead of playing with his trucks, kicking them and throwing them and chasing them until he’s laughing hysterically from the fun and exertion of energy. If Penny let him, she knows that Thomas could play outside for hours on end, running around with hardly a moment to stop and take a breath.

Also, Thomas has been taking apart his toys more and more, replacing parts to make them better and better. There’s one little project that Thomas is particularly interested in, but he won’t let Penny see what it is exactly that he is working on. And, going from his reaction on Thanksgiving, Penny is not going to force him into showing her what it is. It’s not like whatever the project is is going to be dangerous or anything- Thomas knows better and is smart enough to know not to create anything dangerous.

One of the toys he took apart was a remote control car. Thomas had somehow changed it from a toy car into a remote control vacuum. When he helps Penny clean things up, he loves pulling out his little toy, laughing excitedly as he drives it all over the living room and bedroom floors. A lot of other toys have undergone similar changes; going from a fun children’s toy into a very useful item that Penny didn’t even know Thomas knew how to make.

When Penny asked Thomas how he knows how to make any of these, Thomas had simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just know what I want to make and I just know how it’s supposed to work. The wires are supposed to go a certain way and I do it.”

Penny had believed him; Thomas is a literal genius, probably even smarter this time around than before, and there are just some things that he cannot explain.

Thomas is a sweetheart, something that Penny had known from the beginning. He’s always going out of her way to help Penny with things, is always eager to go do the shopping with her, is happy to clean up after himself. There have been a couple of times that Penny’s woken up from a nap to find Thomas trying to fold up the freshly cleaned laundry.

Penny really loves her child.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Penny stands in the living room, a couple of feet from the couch. Spread out on the clean floor is laundry that Penny had been folding but stopped when she saw the news report on.

When FRIDAY had first alerted Penny to the fact that Tony had activated his protocol, FRIDAY had assured Penny that any news regarding the Avengers and Tony Stark would be filtered out away from Thomas. For this to be running right now, it has to be important.

Penny sees just how important it is right away.

_ “Genius, billionaire, Tony Stark, dead,”  _ flashes across the screen.

_ “After several months of silence from the billionaire superhero, Avengers team leader Steve Rogers has confirmed that Anthony Stark has died. Reports are still unclear but what Rogers has revealed to some of our reporters is that Stark was missing for several months and the news of his passing came as a shock. The Avengers are holding a city-wide service for Stark next Tuesday for fans and admirers alike to pay their respects to the man…” _

Penny turns the television off, a sad smile on her face.

Of course this is what the Avengers did- they never even tried looking for Tony Stark, she’s sure. They most likely only waited so long to announce his death so they didn’t look bad.

“How in the world could these people be so cruel to you, Baby?” Penny whispers quietly. Thomas is deeply asleep on the couch, curled up under his red blanket. He is completely calm, unaware of the foolishness that is the rest of the world for the moment.

Penny shakes her head again and sits back down on the floor, continuing to fold the laundry, “A bunch of fools. The world did not deserve you.”

As she folds the laundry, she continues ranting, raving on about how unfair the world treated Tony Stark and how Thomas Washington will never have to experience even a fraction of the hate and ridicule he did. Penny shakes her head, "It’s almost too bad they can't see you like this, Thomas. If they'd known how you were such a gentle fragile soul, maybe they'd have treated you differently."

Setting aside the freshly folded pants, Penny twists around to look at Thomas. He’s curled under his blanket, most likely going to stay asleep for about another hour or so. One of his chubby little hands is curled under his chin, the other one fisted in the pillow under his head. How someone could ever find it in their hearts to blame this precious little boy (well, they blamed the man but honestly, Penny is having a hard time finding a large difference between Tony Stark’s and Thomas Washington’s personalities) is beyond Penny.

Penny rubs her dark hand down Thomas’ face, just watching her baby.

Tony Stark had suffered so much pain in just one life-time and Penny feels so unbelievably special and honored that she is the one who can hopefully make sure that nothing bad will ever happen to him again.

Already, just the short amount of time Penny has had Thomas, she knows that this is the happiest he has ever been. His first childhood was spent with parents who didn’t care about anything except his legacy; he was forced to be an adult when he just wanted to be the little boy he really was.

“You will grow up and be whatever you want to be. I won’t tell you what to do or how to do it. If you want to actually become an astronaut, I’ll be here, waiting for you to get home from space. If you want to be a garbage man, I’ll be there smiling when you pick it up. I don’t care what you want to do so long as you do something because  _ you  _ want it,” Penny whispers into Thomas’s ear, stroking her hand still down his face.

“You will be such a good man, even better than before, and I will always be here for you. I love you.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

“Thomas!” Penny shouts, standing on the deck, staring out at her boy who is playing near the garage, “Dinner’s ready.”

Thomas shoots up immediately, leaving his toy trucks and little archeology set in the dirt, shouting, ” Coming Mama” while running inside.

All weather reports have said that rain should be coming and as a preset, the last few days had been bitterly cold. Oddly enough, Thomas doesn’t even seem to register the cold. Sure, he’ll slip on a jack when he starts to feel chilly, but it’s just that; he’s only ever felt chilly. While Penny stands there with a thick coat on, Thomas comes running at her only wearing a little cardigan. It’s odd and frankly, a little worrying, but Penny doesn’t feel like she needs to contact FRIDAY about anything- nothing serious has happened.

“Did you have fun?” Penny smooths her hand through his hair, gently nudging him through the back door. She takes off her coat, tucking it away on top of the table near the door.

“Yeah,” Thomas stands on the stool in front of the sink, washing his hands thoroughly, “I found a pterodactyl. They’re awesome. I wanna make a robot one, Mama. That’d be so cool to fly around.”

Penny chuckles, setting plates on the dinner table, “I would love to see that. But for now, eat up while it’s still warm.”

Dinner is lovely, peaceful, with Thomas talking Penny’s ear off about space and the robots he plans to build after he finishes the miniature rocket he’s working on. He would have had it finished already, but Thomas gets distracted by other projects pretty easily, so he’s actually working on about a dozen of them. None of which Penny can understand anything about.

After dinner, Thomas helps Penny with the dishes, drying the plates and forks she just cleaned. With those clean, Penny puts together a couple of sundaes, two scoops for Thomas, one vanilla, the other strawberry, and three for Penny, just because she can. They sit on the couch, Thomas being extra careful not to spill a single spoonful on the soft cushion.

SpongeBob plays in the background, but Thomas and Penny continue talking, Penny talking about her own interests and what she had always wanted to do for a living. She doesn’t really want much by way of jobs, but she does admit that she has always wanted a big family who will always love each other.

“Why not do it?” Thomas asks, ice cream all over his face.

“Why not do what?”

“Have a big family? I can have a little brother and I can tell him what to do because I’m older than him,” Thomas says excitedly, bouncing up and down on the cushion.

Penny laughs, “I don’t really need that anymore, Thomas. I have you, I have all of the happiness right here,” She boops Thomas on the nose, making a little noise. Thomas giggles.

“But one person isn’t a big family! What about my dad? What happened to him?” His tone turns very curiously serious. Penny sighs, pain erupting in her heart at the innocent question, “You said it was just you and me, but there has to be a daddy. That’s how biology works!”  
Not once has she mentioned a father since Thomas initially asked her about him, but Thomas had seemed content to just roll with it. Neither one of them actually needed a man around, just the two of them was enough.

But, it was only bound to happen sooner or later.

“You’re daddy…” Penny breathes, forcing herself to calm her racing heart down, “He… He’s gone, Baby.”

Thomas’s brown eyes shine at her, “Like he left?”

“No… He’s..” Penny looks him dead in the eye, not even bothering to stop the tears that start to slip out, “He’s dead, Thomas. He was a soldier and he died protecting us.”

Terrifyingly, tears start to slip down Thomas’s face as well, “I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t want you to cry. I won’t ask about him again. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Penny sets their cups down on the table before pulling the young boy onto her lap, tugging him in close, “It’s not your fault I’m upset. I just lost someone very important to me and it’s hard to not cry. I’m always sad about him, but sometimes I just need to cry. You didn’t make me cry, it’s just that I haven’t had someone to talk about him to for a very long time. I’ll always be happy to tell you about your father…” Penny pulls Thomas back a little, meeting his eyes again, “... And you’re brother.” She whispers.

Now Thomas looks confused, brown eyes wide, “I have a brother?”

Penny nods, “You did. But he’s gone, just like your daddy.”

“My brother died?”

Tears spill over faster down Penny’s face, a sob accidentally escaping, “Y-yes, Thomas. He died not too long after your daddy. But I know that both of them would have loved you so, so much. Billy would have made such a great big brother; he liked cats more than anything, but also like spacemen, too.”

“He did?” Thomas questions, openly crying now. He’s probably crying more out of seeing Penny in pain than anything, but seeing her baby cry just breaks Penny’s heart.

“Yup. He was always such a happy little boy, just like you. He always wanted to hang around with his mama, helping me around the house, too.” Penny pulls Thomas close again, pain so prominent in her heart, “He would have loved having you as a baby brother. And your daddy would have loved having you as a son. You’re such a smart, special little boy and I don’t need  _ anything  _ more. I have you and I used to have your daddy and Billy, but you are more than enough. I love you, Thomas.”

“I love you, too, Mama.”

  
  
  


Thomas falls asleep easily, most likely worn out after their crying session, but Penny can’t sleep. She lays on her bed, staring out the window, mind continuously drifting to their conversation.

Yeah, Penny had planned to eventually tell Thomas about Billy and her husband, but she hadn’t planned to do it that day. The loss of her husband and child were the worst things that ever happened to Penny and she doesn’t think she will ever get over their deaths. But with Thomas, Penny always thought she would get her second chance; the chance to raise a healthy little boy who would live.

And that’s what she’s doing. By the time Billy was four years old, he had already been admitted into the hospital on three different occasions, each stay longer than the one previous.

When he died, Penny really thought she would never be able to feel that motherly love again, but Thomas has shown her otherwise. She loves him just as much as she loved Billy and she would do anything to keep Thomas happy, just like he did for Billy.

Some days she does feel a little guilty about loving Thomas just as much as she loved Billy. Sometimes she feels guilty for moving on after her husband’s death, having another child without him. Sometimes she looks at Thomas, sees Billy, and feels so unbearably sad at the fact that Billy will never be able to teach this beautiful boy all of the things all older brothers are supposed to do.

But then she would look at Thomas, see the love reflected back at her, the happiness, the curiosity, and she would be reminded that she’s not betraying the love or trust of her husband and son. She’s a mother, this is her son, she has every right to love Thomas the way he absolutely deserves and needs.

Billy was her whole world and she lost him.

Thomas is here and Penny vows that she will keep him forever. Nothing, no illness, will be able to take her son away again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

_ Two Years Later _

“Thomas! Get your behind in here if you want breakfast!” Penny shouts, setting out the French Toast and eggs on the table. Pounding feet echo down the hallway before Thomas comes racing into the kitchen, almost too fast as he nearly slides into the wall.

Looks like he’s still getting a handle on his speed.

“Can I have apple juice?” Thomas asks, washing his hands.

Penny hums, already grabby a cup for Thomas, “I don’t know. You had some yesterday, wouldn’t you say that’s enough?”

Thomas laughs, “No! Please, Mama?”

“Oh, I suppose,” Penny pours the juice into his glass, setting it at his spot at the table, “Thank you for using your manners.”

“You’re welcome,” Thomas hops onto his seat and digs right into his food, his quantity easily twice as much as Penny’s.

Not long after Thomas’s fifth birthday, Penny had begun to notice… things. Things about Thomas that certainly were not strictly normal.

For example, Penny noticed that Thomas was fast- and not just that quick kid in school that everyone was jealous of fast- but Captain America at a steady jog fast. Penny did a little test; his mile time is insane and Penny can hardly believe that a five-year-old had gotten a better time than the fastest man in the world.

Another thing Penny noticed was his strength. One day while they had been deep cleaning the house, Penny had been ready to shift the couch out of the way when Thomas effortlessly scooted it over, not even realizing that, as a five-year-old, he shouldn’t have even been able to push it a couple of inches easily, let alone to the other side of the room.

And his appetite- Penny has to make so much more food than she used to or else Thomas will complain only a couple minutes later about being hungry. His metabolism is insanely fast.

There are other little things too, but those are the three that worry her the most.

Not long after Penny had begun to realize these little quirks of Thomas’s, Penny had contacted FRIDAY.

Just some unexpected side effects of the serum, FRIDAY had told her. Nothing harmful and there really wasn’t any reason for Penny to be concerned. If anything, FRIDAY had said that Penny’s biggest issue would be keeping Thomas’s abilities to himself and not showing anyone lest they want SHIELD breathing down their necks.

And that was the last thing that Penny wanted, so she kept quiet about it and encouraged Thomas to use them only when in the privacy of their backyard.

“I was thinking we’ll head down to the mall today. You need some new shoes and maybe I’ll let you play in the arcade,” Penny announces.

Thomas perks up immediately, looking at Penny wide disbelieving eyes, “Really, Mama?”

“Really. You can play there for a little while and then we could hit the toy store. Sound good?”

“Really good,” Thomas nods happily, “Thanks, Mama.”

“You’re welcome.”

  
  
  


“Thanks for the shoes,” Thomas says, clutching the two boxes tight to his chest. He had picked out a pair of New Balance classics while Penny had grabbed him a pair of Converse One Stars. Both Thomas thought were really cool and the six-year-old couldn’t be happier that he got to pick his own shoes.

“You’re welcome. We’re gonna lock these away and then it’s time for the arcade,” Penny unlocks their little car, setting the shoes inside.

“Can I wear these now?” Thomas asks, holding the New Balance shoes tighter.

“Sure,” Thomas changes his shoes quickly before tucking the boxes into the trunk.

With the car locked up again, Penny and Thomas make their way to the arcade, Thomas skipping excitedly the whole way

They’re in the mall, almost at the arcade, when Penny spots him standing not too far away. To anyone else, he looks positively normal, his hair’s pulled back, he’s wearing a gray hoodie with a white shirt, blue jeans, and some boots. He looks like another twenty-something-year-old kid hanging out at the mall on a weekend near summer.

But Penny knows. She’s read every Hydra file Tony had allowed her to. She knows what James Barnes looks like.

And this is him.

He’s leaning casually against a wall, just looking around at the crowd of people, like plenty of other people are doing at malls, but Penny sees that his eyes keep going back to someone. When he looks away again, Penny takes her chance to look at who the Winter Soldier has his eyes set on. It’s some fifty-year-old man with his family of two teenage daughters and a young son at the food court. His wife is giving the, their food, smiling. Each of them are oblivious to the world’s deadliest assassin staring them down.

When Penny looks back at the Winter Soldier, blue-grey eyes are staring straight at her and her heart freezes.

She hadn’t meant to get caught. She just wanted to get a look at who the assassin was targeting.

She was studying his target, now he’s studying her.

Feigning complete innocence, Penny averts her gaze, purposefully looking at a different family for longer than someone would usually look at someone. Makes it look like this is just a quirk of hers, staring at families. If the Winter Soldier is here, then he is here with one goal in mind: getting his target, no matter how he does it or who he has to go through.

Penny doesn’t want to be one of the people he goes through.

“Mama!” Thomas’s shouting snaps Penny back to her son, who’s tugging on her hand, “Why are you stopping? Come  _ on.” _

Penny forces a little chuckle, “I’m coming. Let’s go.”

When Penny looks back at the wall, the Winter Soldier is gone.

  
  
  


“Can I play this one?” Thomas runs over to a Mario Kart machine, the kind with the seat and wheel and everything. The issue is that Thomas is way too short for the machine. Penny tells him as much. Thomas pouts, “Why can’t I be taller?”

“You will be in a couple of years. How ‘bout that Jurassic Park game?” The game is a little violent because of the guns, but Penny doesn’t mind. She knows that a game isn’t going to affect Thomas.

“Okay!” Thomas runs over, careful to keep the run to that of a normal five year old’s, “I wanna be blue!”

Slipping into the covered machine as well, Penny gets in place behind the red controller, swiping the game card.

They play for a while, Thomas eagerly talking about Jurassic World the entire time. Despite the fact that Penny isn’t really one for video games or anything like it, she has a lot of fun, too. Playing with Thomas is exciting and the game is also pretty cool. She’s having a really good time.

Until Penny glances to the right and finds the Winter Soldier standing against the wall across the arcade, staring directly at Penny. He’s not even bothering to be discreet like he had been with his target. No, instead he is staring head-on, eyes boring into Penny.

Panic ceases Penny, but she does not let it show. Calmly, she continues playing with Thomas but doesn’t put effort into it anymore, her character dying rather quickly. When both of them are out, Penny doesn’t reload the machine and instead lifts Thomas into her arms, carrying him into the bathroom. She feels the Winter Soldier’s eyes on her the entire time.

“But, Mama, I don’t have to go potty,” Thomas whines, wiggling to be put down. Penny only sets him down when she has them both in a stall, the rest of the restroom blessedly empty. Thomas looks up at her, “Can we go back to playing?”

Penny shakes her head, forcing herself to remain calm, “Sorry, Baby. But you haven’t gone in a while and I’d really like for you to try and go, please. Okay?”

With a pout, Thomas gives her a reluctant nod, “Okay.”

As Thomas goes to the restroom, Penny whips out her phone, opening up the private, secure Stark Browser FRIDAY had uploaded onto it.  _ FRIDAY. Are you there? _

_ Of course, Miss Washington. How can I assist you today? _

_ The Winter Soldier is here. He was here for someone else but he caught me looking at him and his target and now he’s watching me. What do I do? _

_ Has he made contact so far? _

_ No. But he followed Thomas and I into the arcade and he was watching us play. He knows that I was looking at him and I’m worried that he thinks I need to be taken out or something. _

_ Do not alert him to the fact that he knows you are being watched. If he approaches you do not say anything unless he does. Would you like me to call Director Fury or the police? _

“I’m done, Mama,” Thomas says, flushing the toilet and buttoning his pants. He looks at Penny curiously, wondering why she’s on her phone- his mama isn’t really one for technology or anything.

Penny nods, “Just one minute, okay. I’m messaging someone very important.”

“Who?”

“No one you need to worry about,” Penny assures him. Thomas looks skeptical, but nods nonetheless, waiting patiently for his mama to finish up.

_ We can’t do that FRIDAY. If he actually hurts someone, don’t even hesitate, but not now. That could risk Thomas. _

_ Of course, Miss Washington. Did you want me to track him through surveillance to determine if he is indeed following you or not? _

_ Please. I’m so scared right now, FRIDAY. _

_ That is okay. If needed, I can have a suit sent to you within five minutes. You will be safe. _

_ Thank you. _

_ … I have located the Winter Soldier. He is currently in the parking lot. It looks like he is leaving. You can leave now. _

_ Thank you, FRIDAY. Please, let me know if he comes near us again. And check in on whoever his target is. He was an older man with a wife, two teenage daughters, and a son. He looked like maybe an office worker. Please just make sure he’s okay. _

_ Of course. I will inform you of any other sightings. _

Putting the phone away, Penny smiles reassuringly at Thomas’s confused expression, “All done. Let’s wash our hands and head home. Lunch is passed already.”

“Okay,” Thomas sighs, disappointed. He wanted to keep playing in the arcade, but he knew better than to argue with his mother.

She walks quickly after Thomas has washed his heads, gripping his wrist in a gentle, but firm hold. Despite knowing that the Winter Soldier isn’t in the mall with them anymore, Penny can’t help but look around her, eyes scanning every person as they pass by. Thomas, noticing her frantic searches, asks, “What’s wrong, Mama. What’s going on?”

“Everything’s fine, Thomas. I’m just in a hurry,” Penny says, opting to just lift Thomas into her arms as soon as they’re outside. She needs the reassurance that if they’re approached, no one would be able to get to Thomas without having to pry her out of her arms.

They get to the car no problem and once they’re inside, Thomas buckled securely into the back seat, Penny looks around again, scanning every area.

Once she’s sure that he isn’t near, Penny starts the car and drives away, heading straight for home.

“What happened?” Thomas asks some time later, staring at Penny through the mirror. He looks scared but really is more confused than anything. He thought that they were having a fun time.

“Nothing, Baby. Mama just got a little scared, that’s all. You know what would make me feel better?”

“What?”

“A big cuddle from you. What’s say we just laze around and watch movies for the rest of the day?” Penny offers.

“Okay. Can I pick the movies?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t be a movie day if you didn’t pick.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

  
  
  


Locks firmly in place, FRIDAY’s security measures turned on, all the curtains and windows closed, Penny finally sits down with Thomas on the couch. He just sat there watching Penny run around the house to make sure all of the windows and doors were closed and locked, confused out of his mind. He may be a genius, but Thomas cannot read minds and he doesn’t know what’s going through his mother’s head.

All he knows is that one moment, they’re having a great time playing at the arcade, and the next, Penny’s afraid and is saying that they need to go home, texting some strange person.

Knowing his mother is troubled right now, however, Thomas doesn’t cause any trouble or put up a fess. He just lets his mother run around the house, sitting quietly on the couch, swinging his little legs.

When Penny finally sits down next to him, Thomas smiles hesitantly, unsure about what her reaction will be.

Thankfully, Penny smiles back, if a little tightly, “Did you decide on a movie, yet?”

“I was thinking Angry Birds. I wanted to watch the Martian but you look like you want to just sit here and cuddle,” Thomas admits, pressing close against his mother’s side.

With a chuckle, Penny wraps her arm around Thomas’ tiny body, pulling him onto her lap as she reclines against the couch. She’s still on edge, but leave it to her baby to know exactly what she needs, “You are absolutely right. After the movie, what about some of that apple pie in the fridge. Sound yummy?”

“Very yummy.”

Throughout the movie, Penny slowly starts to feel herself unwind more and more. She is still tense, sure, but she isn’t ready to bolt at every little noise she hears. She can relax enough to actually watch the movie with Thomas, laughing along with him and overall loving that her baby was right in knowing how to calm her down.

Accidentally, Penny and Thomas fall asleep on the couch, curled into each other as the movie plays on.

  
  
  


She wakes up when her phone starts vibrating in her back pocket.

Carefully, Penny pulls the phone out of her pocket without dislodging Thomas at all. Opening it up, Penny clicks the notification.

It’s from FRIDAY.

_ The Winter Soldier is standing on the roof of your garage. _

The phone drops out of Penny’s hand with a loud bang.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually decided to split this story into two parts since it's getting a little long and hard to keep track of on the Docs. So, this is actually the last chapter of Part One.

Chapter Nine

_ I do not detect any form of weapon on his body, but he has made no other move since getting on the roof. _

Thomas is sitting up now, rubbing at his eyes.

Penny is standing up, holding the phone again. Her breaths are coming in heavy pants, terror seizing her.

“Mama? What’s going on?” Thomas asks, scared seeing his mother looking so terrified.

But Penny doesn’t answer, too busy calling FRIDAY. As soon as she hears the click of the AI answering the phone, she starts speaking, “What is he doing? How long has he been there?”

_ “He seems to merely be sitting there, but my scans indicate that he has only been there for two minutes.” _

“Why is he here?”

_ “I do not know, but there have been no police reports of any missing persons or homicides. His target is currently at home eating dinner.” _

Penny makes a choked noise, “Does he- does he know that I was looking at him? Does he know that I know who he is?”

_ “I do not know. Whatever his reasons are for being here, they do not seem to be hostile. I have not detected any Hydra agents within the state.” _

“So what? He came here on his own?”

_ “It is possible. Would you like for me to send a suit?” _

Penny hesitates, looking at Thomas who looks so scared now. Her first priority will always be him, no matter what happens to her. She wants to make sure that he is safe from the Winter Soldier, but the assassin has not actually done anything yet. If she doesn’t need to, she doesn’t want SHIELD to come knocking on her door, which is surely what they’ll do if an Iron Man suit suddenly activates after two years of nothing.

“I don’t- I don’t know. He’s not attacking or anything. Is this just surveillance? Is he just tracking us.”

_ “I cannot answer that, Miss Washington. Ma’am, he’s-” _

“Mama. Who's at the back door?” Thomas asks suddenly, head tilted to the side as he finally becomes aware of the other noises besides his mother speaking frantically into the phone.

Penny’s heart stops, blood running cold as she lets Thomas’s words sink in, FRIDAY finishing what she started,  _ “-Is at the back door. The cameras prove that he has nothing in his hands and no weapons on his body. I can have a suit there in exactly two minutes.” _

“Mama! There’s someone at the door,” Thomas cries, running to hide behind Penny’s legs.

Fear has enveloped Penny and she feels her body trembling lightly. Without answering FRIDAY, she bends down to scoop Thomas into her arms once more, running immediately up the stairs into Thomas’s room. She slams the door shut behind her, locking it up.

Quickly, Penny sets Thomas on his feet, saying, “Help me put your desk in front of the door. We can’t let him in.”

Thomas doesn’t even question it. He grabs a leg of his desk and pulls it in front of his door, pressing it right against the door knob.

Penny grabs Thomas again, her arm wrapped around his waist and kneels in the corner of his room, away from the windows and doors.

Things become eerily quiet after that, save for the sound of Penny’s heavy breathing Not a noise otherwise, inside or out. Penny looks down at Thomas. He’s staring around, scared at whatever is going on, “Do you hear him anymore Thomas?”

Thomas takes a moment, tilting his head from her chest to focus on listening. After a second, he nods slowly, “There’s someone going into the garage. They used the side door.”

Penny pulls him closer, wiping her wet eyes against her shirt sleeve. She forces herself to be calm, rational, “Do they sound like… They’re doing anything?”

“No. It’s quiet now. Like they’re sitting down and waiting or something.” Thomas reports.

“Okay. Okay,” Penny breathes. “We’re just gonna- just gonna sit here for a little while. I don’t know if it’s safe or not.”

In her arms, she feels Thomas flinch, pressing himself against Penny’s chest as tightly as possible, “Who is it, Mama?”

“A… very bad man. He doesn’t mean to be bad, someone is making him, but he’s still dangerous. I don’t know what he wants and I don’t know how long he plans to be here, but we’re just gonna wait it out for a while. Okay? Just wait it out and see if he leaves,” Penny confesses, figuring that there is no point trying to lie to her boy when he is already so scared and confused by everything going on.

Thomas sniffles, tears springing to his eyes again, “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re both going to be okay.”

  
  
  


Nothing happens all night. Penny and Thomas sit there in the corner of his room all night, just waiting for the Winter Soldier to make another move or for Hydra agents to come pounding through their door.

Around five in the morning, Thomas shifts in Penny’s arm, tilting his head again to listen. After a moment, the boy turns to look at Penny, “He- he’s leaving the barn. I think he’s on the deck.”

Heart stuttering once more, Penny nods, standing up, “Okay. Thank you, Thomas.” She sets her boy down on the floor, pushing on his shoulders until he sits back down. She grabs his blanket from the bed, tucking it around him, “I’m gonna go out, Thomas.”

“No, Mama! He’s out there! You can’t go!” Thomas cries, clutching onto her hands desperately when she goes to pull away from him.

Penny kneels in front of him again, clutching both of his hands in hers, rubbing them soothingly, “I know, Thomas. I know you’re scared, but I have to go out. I need to make sure that you’re safe.” She pulls him in close, pressing hard kisses all over his face, “I love you Thomas. Whatever happens remember that I love you so much.”

“Mama!” Thomas cries, lifting his arms out to her.

But Penny doesn’t lift him up, despite all of her instincts telling her to. Instead, she moves over to the door, shoving the dresser out of the way just enough to slip out into the hallway, “As soon as this door is closed, lock it and put the dresser back. Do not open this door for anyone other than me or the police.”

“The po-police?”

“Yes. Do not open it for anyone else. Do you understand?” Thomas just continues sobbing, shaking his head, “Thomas, please. I know everything is so scary right now, but I need you to this to me. Do not open this door. You got that?”

“Yes, Mama,” Thomas hiccups, looking utterly devastated.

Before she could lose her nerve, Penny steps out the door, closing it behind her gently. She waits a breath until she hears the telltale click of the lock sliding into place and the soft scraping of Thomas’s dresser against the ground.

Without her phone and FRIDAY to tell Penny where the Winter Soldier is and without Thomas being able to hear exactly where he is either, Penny walks with terrified breaths down the stairs. She doesn’t go for the backdoor right away. No, instead, she makes her way to the office downstairs. Sitting in the locked cupboard in there is a Remington Model 870, fully loaded, but Penny grabs a couple of extra bullets just in case, stuffing them into her jeans pockets.

Cocking the shotgun, Penny walks slowly into the kitchen as silently as possible. Through the lace curtains on the door, she can see the outline of the Winter Soldier sitting on the bench across from the doors.

The man doesn’t look like he’s heard her or anything, but that means little when it comes to the Winter Soldier; for all Penny knows, the assassin is just like Thomas and had heard her coming down the stairs.

At the door, Penny doesn’t open it, just stands there, staring out at the man’s outline. Her heart feels like it’s trying to beat out of her chest with how panicked she feels right now. Her hands shake with the gun in her hands and her breaths are coming out in stuttering breaths.

Stealing her resolve, Penny unlocks the door, swinging it open with a loud crack against the wall.

The moment the gun is trained on him, the Winter Soldier is raising his hands slowly, staring blankly at her. If he is at all afraid, he hides it extremely well.

“What the hell do you want?” She growls at him aiming the gun straight at his head.

Slowly, with his arms still raised, the assassin rises from the bench, “I won’t hurt you. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Oh, yeah? Then why are you here? You sure don’t seem like you’re here for a friendly visit.”

“... I don’t know.”

Penny scoffs, shaking her head, “You don’t know. Something brought you here. Why?”

The man doesn’t answer for a while, too busy staring at the shotgun in Penny’s hand. Finally, he says, “You were at the mall.”

“No shit,” She snaps. While Penny isn’t really one for swearing, she can’t help it right now, “That still doesn’t explain what you’re doing creeping around my house.”

“... You recognized me. I saw it on your face. You know who I am,” He says, staring her in the eyes.

Penny immediately shakes her head, “No. I don’t. I was just looking around. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was staring at you.”

“I am a trained assassin,” The man says, “I was taught how to read people. You’re face said that you knew me.”

Penny shakes slightly, composure slipping as she takes in the rather confused looking man in front of her. He looks lost, almost… childlike and scared, “I don’t-”

“Who am I?” He asks suddenly, face deadly serious.

That gives Penny pause. She stares at the man before her. He’s wearing the same clothes he was yesterday, the hoodie and jeans, and Penny doesn’t see a single weapon on him. Swallowing, she asks, “You don’t know?”

He shakes his head, “I think… I’m James. I don’t remember.”

Taking in the new information, Penny nods, stepping just a tiny bit towards the man, “Your name is James Barnes. You are a prisoner of war.”

“The man…” He says slowly, “... Steve. He told me my name is James Barnes. I didn’t know if he was lying.”

“He’s not. Your name is James Barnes, he used to call you Bucky,” She tilts her head, looking at him curiously, “Do you remember Steve Rogers?”

“I… I saved him from the river… He was going to die.” He looks down, shaking his head with his eyes scrunched closed, “I didn’t want him to die.”

“Why? Do your… handlers know where you are?” The word tastes vial in Penny’s mouth, the thought of someone being controlled disgusting.

“No. I left. No one’s been able to find me.”

“Not even Steve,” She says.

“No.”

“What are- what are your orders?” She asks.

“I have no orders. I’m not the… the Winter Soldier anymore.”

“How can I be sure of that? You were watching someone yesterday at the mall. Is this just part of your ploy?”

He shakes his head, “There is no ploy. I don’t know who that man is. I saw the family and I just…”  
“What?”

“... They looked happy.”

“Happy? You were staring at them because they looked happy?”

“Yes. I remember I used to be happy.”

Penny narrowed her eyes, genuinely confused and curious about what’s going on. “Do you  _ want  _ to be happy?”

“I want to remember,” He answers bluntly.

“Can they- are they able to track you?”

“They haven’t so far.”

Penny inhales deeply, the shotgun lowering just a tiny bit. She isn’t sure what to do right now. No one had spotted the Winter Soldier since DC years ago. She moves a tiny step closer, “If we help you, will someone find us? Will Hydra come knocking down our door.”

“I don’t know.”

“I want to help you. I do. But i cannot help you if you can’t promise me that my son will be safe,” Penny admits roughly.

“There is nothing I can promise about anything. I don’t know if Hydra will ever find me or not… I won’t put your son in danger on purpose. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Penny nods, “Is there any Hydra left in you?”

“There are trigger words. If they’re spoken... “

“You turn into the Winter Soldier,” Penny nods, understanding, “Are there any other ways?”

“No.”

Penny’s mind is reeling. She is so conflicted- she wants to send him away, never see him again and keep Thomas safe, but she wants to help the innocent man that Hydra turned into a monster. This… boy just wants the chance to live a life where he isn’t being forced to kill other people under the punishment of torture. For the first time in over seventy years he wants to just be normal. No fighting, no beatings, no killings.

The Winter Soldier wants to be James Barnes again.

Or as close to it as he could ever get.

“I’m Penny. What do you want me to call you?”

“James… You can call me James.”


End file.
